The Toy for a Daughter

Did our children have toys? . . .     To play them. . .

You don’t understand us. .            We search for food all day. . .        sometimes we find a worm. . .   . 

There is nothing else. . .

You can’t believe I didn’t make toys for my daughter. . .    .

When the youngest daughter was still little, I made her an olonok. .   A stone dagger with a handle in the form of those who come from the sky and take children. .

So that it would always be with her. .

And when the Ship comes down. . .    to take her up. . .      .

No. .     I’ll tell her that later. . .       There’s still time. . .      Let her grow up a little. .

Her mother and sister were taken to the House. . .       These. .

They broke her legs at the knees so she couldn’t run. . .    when her time comes. .     .

She didn’t get up for a long time. . .    Then she began to crawl on all fours a little. . .

I made her crutches to try to get back on her feet. . 

She couldn’t walk with me for food. . .      There are big stones there. . .        It is necessary to climb well. . .

She asked for it, of course. .   I didn’t allow her. . .   her knees were very sore when she stood for a long time. 

So she stayed home alone while I left. .       Sometimes for a long time. . .    .

She grew up slowly. . .

These once came. . .    wanted to make fun of her. . .      while I was away. . .    

That time I managed to. . .     I killed all three of them. . .      I dragged the bodies to the House and left them there. .

They never came again…

She already knows what to do with the olonok. . .   .       I told her everything. .

You just need to stick it in your dimple. . .      to the end. . .     .       Deep. . . 

She understood. .

You will die, of course, but your future children, these Upper ones, will not be able to turn. . .

No, not to turn. . .     to use. . .    .      Use their souls. . .     So the Tradition says. .

So the olonok was her toy. . .    The only toy.    She liked to look at the face of the figure on the handle. . .     in its big eyes, talked to it about something         I didn’t hear everything. . .

She said she liked him. . .    this little boy. . .           And that she wasn’t afraid of him at all. . .

I thought she was just making it up. . .     that there is no boy. . .   .

The Tradition says that if you kill future children through your throat, you will become   Death. . .    .

She knew.    I thought I could explain it correctly. . .    .       She said she wasn’t afraid. . . 

Just a little bit. . .      That she won’t be afraid at all soon. . .

It’s better than being a mother of remade ones. .

That’s what I thought. . .      So I gave her the olonok back then. . .    .

I went far that day. .     I couldn’t find the worm. . .    .

She hadn’t eaten for a long time. . .     she was weak. .

When I came back. . .         without a worm again. . .             she was gone. . .

I was running around everywhere. . .       I searched for her. . .

I knew, of course, that they took her while I was away. . .         I didn’t want to believe it. . .

Did not want. .

The olonok was in the crack where I told her to hide it. . .

It means she didn’t kill herself and her future children. . .        It means. . .

She was waiting for them. .  .   She knew. . .       felt that today they would come for her. . .     .

She sat clutching the olonok. . .    . No, she didn’t want to kill herself. .   She wanted to kill the first person to enter the house first. .    Then herself. .     It’s the right thing to do. . .    .      She thought so.

The one she didn’t want to kill came in. . . .      She recognized him immediately. . .

A little boy, about three years old, for you. . .    and eyes like the handle of the olonok.

He said with the thought that he was the one she always thought of, the one she talked to. . . If she goes with him, he will be her future son. . .     They must go there. . .      to the Ship. . . It’s waiting for them. . .     not far away. . .      behind the house. . .   .       He held out his hand so she could stand up. . .    .

She put the olonok in the crack so that her father would know that she had made up her mind. . .      .

She leaned on the boy’s arm and walked. . .      as best she could. . .       She didn’t take a crutch. . .        she endured it. . .    .

So they entered the Ship.

They put her on the table. .  The skull was opened. . .  Her brain was almost detached from the brain stem when the Death-Snake killed her. .

We didn’t have time to remove the living brain. . .     We will be destroyed for this. . .       that we didn’t have time. . .

We didn’t want to make it. . .    so we didn’t have time. .    Again, we didn’t have time. .

This is probably the only thing we can still do – not have time and that’s it. . .    .

I’m sitting alone. . .     and without her now. . .       It’s dark. . .

It must have been dark for a long time. . .      The olonok in my hand. . .     It is warm. . . ,   as if it remembers and stores the warmth of her small hands. . .      She put her arms around my neck and pressed her whole body tightly. . .     then for a long time she looked into my eyes deeply, as if she was reading something there about me, about all of us. . .    .

She’s something special. . .    not the same. .   We don’t always understand her thoughts.

Her mother said that she looked like me, but I think she looks like her – the same gray eyes with rays, as if they always laugh, the same ashy hair on her shoulders. . .

I stroke the handle of the olonok with my finger. . .   I’ve been polishing this black obsidian for a long time. . .         The blade was made narrow and smooth to make it easier to enter the throat. . .     With no pain. . .      almost no pain. .

For some reason, the big round eyes of the figure on the handle turned out to be like a child’s. . .    I don’t know why. . .    I don’t want to remake it. . .        Let this one be kind. . .    who will come for her   . . .              If this happens. . .

This was her toy. . .        The boy with the kind eyes.