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The Main Gift

 

 

 

New Year. . .

 

It used to be a holiday for us, too . .            Not like yours, of course . . .

Why cut down a tree to decorate it? . . .                    Trees are precious . .

This was our last tree and we decorated its branches with ribbons . . .

The last tree.        .   .    Do you understand? .

 

 

Another Cycle will end in three hours. .      You will give gifts. . .    .

 

 

Before the New Cycle begins, you have time to tell a story to your future child.

Then it will be too late. . .    .

Don’t you think about him? .

And we always think. .  .          Even if we know that this time he can’t be born. .

 

 

Do you want to hear a tale?    . . .           About the gift?   . . .        The main one?   . . .

About what everyone is waiting for. . .          Most. . .            And almost no hope.

 

That’s why they call it    – THE GIFT.

 

 

                                                            Do you remember that cat?

 

 

                                          You liked to pat it

                                                                        when it was sitting on your lap. . . 

                                        Just to pat. . .    .

                                                                                         And this strange feeling when you look

                                                                into her huge pupils. . .    .

 

                                                       Do you remember?  .

 

 

                                      Then listen.

 

 

 

 

 

 The Cat

 

 

 

I’m pregnant again.    They don’t know yet.     I don’t want to live. . .   .

Last time, when they took away the kittens to drown them, they said that “…. if I bring it again, they’ll throw me to hell  . . . “.

 

I don’t want to have kittens again, but at night I go out to this place again and wait for something. . .        or someone. .    .

 

 

This red cat always rapes me,  . . .      just like Those before. . .       from another life. . .    .

I resisted then  . . .       not now . . .      or almost not. . .    .       I’m a cat now. . .    .

 

 

And then there will be kittens. . .        Red. . .     Everyone.

 

 

 

 

I’m thinking . . .    I don’t know what about . . .     .

I think about Nibiru . . .       how I was a girl . . .   .    He called me an Starlet. . .

The one I loved. .      .

 

He’s big. .     I’m still young. . .           I’ll grow up and I’ll be his wife. . .     or someone else. .   .

If he wants to . . .    .       I thought so back then. . .   .

 

 

 

 

And then I was raped and killed by These. . 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I don’t know why I’m here . . .    On Earth . . .     All strangers . . .

I’m in the cat . . .     In the cat’s body . . .

That’s not the worst. . .    .

 

 

 

Everyone speaks with voice here . . .       And thoughts say quite another .   .

 

They say –  ” …  with respect     …   Sincerely yours   …”        And think . . .

 

 

 

So I’m thinking . .       If you run across the road in front of the wheels of a car at night or early in the morning, when it is still dark, then the one in the car will not notice and will crush immediately. . .

 

Immediately is good. . .  It’s bad when the blood flows for a long time. .         And the kitten in me will immediately as well then. . .    .         If I’m lucky I will immediately too . . .     .

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Unlucky. . .    My hind legs were run over. . .    Well, what else can I say. . .   – what a man has below the waist. . .          Guts spilled out on the road. . .     .

 

I crawled away. . .          And he didn’t stop. .     .     The one in the car. . .

 

Only swore. . .       ” Whore. . .” – I heard his thoughts. . .

. . .     And I’m not a whore at all. . .    .

 

 

 

The kitten is also dead. . .     Just as I am. .    .

I shouldn’t have crawled out of the way . . .      I’d rather be completely crushed. . .    .

I thought so. . .    .

 

                                                 With respect.

 

                                              Your cat .

      

      

      

      

      

Wait. . .     I wanted to say something else . . .

 

 

Yes . . .     About the gift. . .        You think about it . . .

A little? . . .     Because it’s not the Main. . .

And the main . . .

Maybe this time you’ll get what you’ve been waiting for so long . . .

 

 

At that time,    in that life, I was hoping as well. . .          Because I was that cat .  .

 

 

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