Can you kill someone you love? . . Because you love. .
I could. . . and back then. . . And after that. . . The ones I loved. . .
I like Atonka-the-little. That’s what they call her. . . those who work next to her.
They make clothes. And Atona-the-little embroiders with gold threads. It turns out beautifully.
She embroiders for ?. .
As long as she can embroider, she won’t be killed. But my order is to stay close. It means soon. I will kill her. I am Death you know. . . . I am Death for those I love. . . .
. . .
She is still very young, but she is allowed to do the most important thing. . .
Because no one can do it so beautifully. .
She makes up the drawings herself.
Nothing was explained to her. . . She saw it once, when they brought her here, and she knew right away. And she came up with the knots of threads to tie in a different way. . . to rub less.
No one understands the meaning of her drawings. They just think it’s beautiful. A lot. . .
There is something in the drawings that doesn’t exist.
About the world where there is no ?. . . , his overseers, guards. . . .
And his children are not there as well. It is the main thing. .
There are only birds and animals in that world. . . and flowers.
There is no such world. . . no.
And she sees it. .
That’s probably the reason why I’m supposed to be close. . . .
And there are many other things in that world that we don’t have. Probably there is a Father and a Mother too. . . .
Only she doesn’t want to embroider it.
She doesn’t remember her mother – she was taken away when she was very young. . . .
And she doesn’t consider Big ? a father. She doesn’t want to. A father can’t be like that.
He can’t and that’s it.
In that world, there can’t be all those who kill and rape girls. . . And she has already been raped and beaten many times. .
They beat for everything. . . Last time they beat her for falling asleep at work. She didn’t even fall asleep, she was just looking at them when they came in, she was looking and didn’t see them. .
They hit her in the face so hard that one of the eyes popped out. . . They beat her for a long time. . . They ripped her mouth, . . . pulled out her hair. . . They broke her legs. . ribs. . . .
They didn’t break arms, so she could still embroider. .
Our eyelids are cut off so that our eyes don’t close, so that we cannot fall asleep and work at night, when there is a Luna and you can see a little bit. . And then the eyes get used to the darkness. . .
It was very dark and cold at night. We are not allowed to cover ourselves with anything, so as not to get the clothes that are made for ? dirty, . . for This One. . . for his children. .
And there are no clothes for any of us. . . Not allowed.
So she sat and waited for the light starts to break, so that she could start working again. The main thing is not to fall asleep in the morning. If the overseers see it, they will beat badly. And at night, the guards just wake you up so that you don’t sleep. They are kind. . . they don’t hit you if you doze off a little.
The sunbeam from the little window-hole was so warm. . .
So she fell asleep. . .
She’s less than three Cycles – not nine yet, for you. . .
. . .
When the blood stopped, they made her clean everything up and gave her work again. . . Now it won’t get dirty.
She could barely see with her remaining eye. . . And her fingers could barely work. . .
The gold threads are very short and difficult to tie. . . Even with fingers as thin as hers. . . the little one.
At night, when you can hardly see anything, she also embroidered. . . For herself. .
On a small piece of cloth that she hid in the morning. She used to embroider and unravel it in the morning. . .
Her drawings. . . Signs. . . How did she know them? . .
We guessed what they meant, but we tried not to think about It. . . If they find out, they’ll kill.
She also drew signs on the floor. . . with a stone, . . . black one. She drew and immediately erased it before These could notice.
The guards can see, but they won’t tell. . . They think like they don’t know the meaning of the Signs.
. . .
That night, she drew three Large Signs on the floor again. And she didn’t erase them.
Even the guards were scared. . . They will be killed for such signs, too. . . Everyone knows these signs.
You don’t know? . .
Didn’t they tell you? .
. . .
They cut off her arm and leg. . . Dragged outside and left. . . So that everyone who pass by can mock as they want. .
. . .
I killed her.
So that no one can mock the still living. . .
I killed. . . Death can’t cry. . . I shouldn’t. .
And I’m crying. I cry every time I kill my loved ones.
I’m not ordered to kill them. . .
The Order is just to be close. . . Until the end. .
. . .
She’s so nice. . . ?’s daughter. . . Atona-the-little. . . Brave.
And Death still does not come. . .
Probably, he cannot make up his mind again. Can’t get used to it. . .