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The Day When the O Died

 

 

 

My son, . . .

unborn. . .

 

I didn’t want to tell you this. .

 

 

She was badly raped and beaten. . .       You died inside her. . .      She was pregnant with you.

When I got home, she was lying on a couch with her face to the wall. . .           I realized. .

 

 

I went far away, over the mountain, . . .      but I didn’t find any food for her. . .

There were no worms. . .      they’re deep in the ground – it’s very cold now. . .

 

The dry grass makes her vomit. . .        she tried to eat, but there was no water. .

 

 

I scooped up all the grass from the bed and lay down next to her, . . .    held her tight to calm the trembling of her body, to warm her. . .

She closed her thoughts. . .    and lay there until night. . .

Then she said with a thought that she didn’t want to live anymore. . .         I held her tighter. . .

 

 

So we froze to death together…

 

 

I could hear all her thoughts. . .       She was thinking of you. . .      unborn. . .

What would you be. . .     Strong, handsome. . .         with gray eyes. . .

She thought about my eyes and wanted you to have the same. . .     with rays.

 

 

I think of you as well. . .

 

Here you are sitting at the table. . .     in front of me. . .

I teach you to write. . .     and you try very hard.     Blond hair has fallen over the face and I can’t see it. . .

I know you’re my best. . .      You can do anything. . .              Later. . .        in another life . . .

I hope for you. . .

 

 

 

I think you’ll be born. . .       one day. . .

I don’t know what you’ll be. . .        my son. . .

 

But I know exactly what you should be. . .

I know that you won’t give up. .

 

I’ll be with you. . .    Always. .

 

You’ll hear.

 

 

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