. . . And I think about that night again. . . the last. . . Something has changed and I don’t want to read their minds anymore – the minds of slaves. I just kill when the time comes. . . kill them for him. . . for someone who couldn’t give up on them. . . traitors. . . This is the worst thing that can happen – betrayal.
When I first saw him, I thought he was just a common slave. . . an earthling.
And he thought I was just a common ugly from above, that’s the way the earthlings think of us when we arrive in our boats and land near their prison.
I know that I’m ugly – bald and with eyes under a black pellicle. . . and no breasts. . . and more. . .
Then he started helping me lift the stunner up to the guard tower. By himself. . . I didn’t order him. . . I grinned. . . in my mind, of course. . . – we can’t smile with our faces. . . it’s made so that we can’t. . . So that you can’t see how we feel. . . .
I thought – “. . . what a fool. . . that’s the weapon to guard you. . . “.
Then he wanted to help more but I told him to lie face down on the ground and not move until I order him to. . .
He was not surprised and carried out my thought. . . I grinned again. . .
I asked with a thought: “Why do you want to curry favor? I’ll kill you anyway when you’re done digging the ore. . . “
He answered with a thought also that I am a freak, but a woman. . . .
Then I started to cry. . . without tears. . . we don’t have tears, but he understood and turned away. . . he understood everything.
He turned away so I couldn’t see his face. . . – the earthlings can’t hide their feelings.
Then he looked at me. . . on the chest, on the legs. . . in the eyes. . . he couldn’t see anything under the tape, though.
Then he turned and joined the others in the mine.
I didn’t sleep that night. . . was listening to his thoughts. . .
He was thinking about me. . . that I might be ugly, but he likes me. . . not as a woman . . . and he doesn’t know. . .
I called him out of the slave line and ordered him to follow me. . . He came forward… stood not far from me and waited for the command.
I didn’t have to do any other work – I just wanted to look him in the eyes again. . . to read. . . .
I also wanted to tell him. . . but I thought he wouldn’t understand that thought. . .
He understood. . . I don’t know how, but he understood and said that he knew that everyone would be killed for his escape. . . and he can’t. . . Now, if all will run. . .
Fool. . . I knew the thoughts of others – they would run and betray him. . .
No, not like that. . . they wouldn’t even remember him. . . . Fool. . .
They are different, these slaves, although we take all of them from the same area. . . but for some reason they are all different.
He grinned with his face. . . and went into the mine. . . I didn’t know then that he wanted to raise other slaves to revolt and kill all of us. . . those who are above. . .
He hid the thought, but I heard it in the others. . . the ones he told what he was up to. . . That we won’t have time to kill them all. . . that many will be able to escape. . .
But everyone thought only of themselves, that they might be killed and that it would be better to leave everything as it is. . .
They didn’t believe or didn’t want to think that they were going to die anyway. . . that soon. . . that their strength is running out – the earthlings can’t go long without food, and we don’t feed them. . . just,. . . if they find something to eat by themselves. . . .
I killed them all. . . went along the line and killed them. . . and they stood and waited for something.
I killed him last. . . he didn’t want to run again. . . He said we are all freaks and he wants to kill us. . . all. . . except for me. . .
And I’m crying. . . .