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Death and Her Children

 

 

 

I don’t know where to start. . .

Do you want me to tell you about myself?

 

                                                                           ***

 

A lot of people have seen death. . .      the way they can tell how they saw me. . .

Someone saw a girl. . .    in white. . .    .           Tall. . .

Someone an old woman in a black hood. . .       tall, with a scythe. . .      .

The face can never be seen. . .

 

You also call me snub-nosed. . .        This is a joke you have. . .

I’m not snub-nosed at all. . .       I just have no nose at all. . .     .

 

                                                                           ***

 

Back then. . .    in that life. . .      I was so little.

I called This One who raped me a stinking thing. . .

You know that sickening smell, don’t you?

 

For this, at first they burned my nose out and then completely cut off. . .

I turned gray then – my hair was quite white. . .          although it was already light. . .                             a little ashy. . .       .

I was twelve in that life, for you. . .      .

 

                                                                           ***

 

I’ve never had a scythe like the one you mow the grass with. . .      – we’re not allowed to have anything that could be a weapon. . .     .

We fight with our bare hands. . .            if you take a stone, they’ll kill you. . .  , and if you fight with your bare hands, they’ll just beat you up . . .    and that’s it. . .     .

They’ll break an arm or a leg and stop. . .              when they get tired of beating. . .      .

 

I’m lame. . .     .       That’s why you always see me standing in the distance. . .

Who will see closer, will not tell.

 

                                                                           ***

 

Well, what you see as a scythe is a light reflection on the bubble. . .      It is the Crown behind me – what’s left of the Crown. . .     .

She’s waiting for devouring the soul, and then they’ll think I killed. . .    .

 

 

You also can’t see the eyes – they are not there. . .        – it was when my eyes were gouged out. . .

Here I stand, so as not to fall. . .      .

These mocked the blind for a long time after that. . .  , and I could not grab anyone. . .   

I threw myself from side to side. . .          and fell tripping. . .     .

They threw stones at me. . .   , until they beat me to death. . .          .

 

The body was all burned – so you see, as if I was all in black. . .      .

 

                                                                           ***

 

I didn’t come close to those who told you, . . .         what I was like. . .

I didn’t want to kill. . .

For this the Crown every time. . .           Over and over again. . .               Forever.

 

                                                                           ***

 

I stand and can’t move when the Crown comes out from behind my shoulder. . .       I’m not alive. . .            The Crown is alive. . .   so her skins shine of recently devoured souls. . . 

so young. . .

It is rarely with a pure steel sheen. . .     more often rusty, these are the souls of those who betrayed    – shit is shit even here.

 

                                                                           ***

 

I don’t know what else to tell you. . .         Let me tell you about my children. . .      .

 

 

I’ve always wanted to have children, a boy and a girl. . .          From someone I will love. . .    .

I was dreaming so. . .       when I was little. . .     .

I thought He would come and kill everyone. . .          those who raped me every day.

 

That time I was very young and could not give birth. . .

Then I grew up and they started to fuck me so that I would give birth to a child. . .      they needed my boy. . .     to kill. . .     .

So that he could kill like me, with eyes.

 

These wanted to breed a special breed – so they did different things with me. . .      .

 

I didn’t give them the ones they wanted.

 

                                                                           ***

 

A woman can do more than you think. . .

She decides who will be the real father of the child.

So in all the lives, the boys were supposed to appear not the same as These would like.

 

They were mine and just mine. . .

And the boys were like my beloved one. . .    in everything. . .       The way I made him up. . .      the way he was supposed to be. . .      my beloved one. . .        and the children from him.

That’s why they are unborn. . .      my children. . .

My. . .        with my beloved, whom I never met then. . .     .

 

 

                                                                           ***

 

I wanted this boy not to be born at all. . .       ever.      I didn’t want the girl as well, so that she won’t be raped as I always was. . .    .

 

Then I decided to let the girl be born, but dead. . .     She will be Death. . .

As I will be. . .  soon. We will be two Deaths – mother and daughter. . . .

Then I didn’t want her either. . .

I thought it would be better to die alone than with a child from These.

 

                                                                           ***

 

Then I got pregnant anyway and waited for the baby girl to be born, but I didn’t want to think about her at all. . .           Just nobody’s child and that’s it. . .      .

 

When she was born, they took her away from me, they didn’t even let me breastfeed her. . .

I managed to give it to her once before they found out. . .       .

 

Then I tried not to think about it, and I thought it was better that way. . .    .

 

                                                                           ***

 

I didn’t give birth again. . .     and I was killed for it.

 

 

                                                                           ***

 

It was the first life I remember a little bit. . .

Then there were other lives. . .      similar. . .    .

 

 

When you live in an ordinary human body, you don’t remember other lives.

It is the right thing. . .    .

 

Only in a world where you’re not a human at all, you know about your old lives, . . .                    about  by whom you must born once again, about your unborn babies who waiting. . .

 

 

Also you can still find out about the one from which these children can be born. . .       that he was not yet born and probably never will be born. . .    .

 

The child will not be born because These destroy him in all bodies. . .           in this world and in that world. 

They are afraid of someone who should have been born to a Mother and Father. . .         who was not born to them, but the part of him that has not yet been destroyed can live in the body of a child from any other woman. . .      .

 

They are looking for him. . .

They had already destroyed almost every part of his soul.

Only very small sparks still exist somewhere. . .       No one knows where.

 

 

We also know that it can’t be born on our worlds. . .       only on Earth, where he’s harder to find.

Where we lived, all the boys are killed at once. . .

Therefore, our lives quickly degenerate. . .             And then the whole Life dies.

 

                                                                           ***

We’re being sent to look for him.

Someone who must someday be born of other parents. . .      .

 

When they send us to Earth, we know who to look for.

 

We found them before. . .         boys with a piece of the soul from that . . .  

“unborn”. . .      .

 

 

We were watching. . .      whom he grew up. . .

 

Then killed him. . .            because we put it into the wrong one again.

 

 

 

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