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Bobka

 

 

He called me Bobka, even though I wasn’t bobka at all.     I’m a boy.     Only I am not a human, but an animal. I am a squirrel – in your opinion.

I live in a hole in the rock. . .   I have a burrow there.  It’s nice there. .

I dragged some herbs there and it is warm to sleep. . 

I also hide everything there. . .     What I’ll find. .      Something special. . .      I found a button. .  So, something special. . 

 

I don’t have a home like people do. . .     I would like to. . .

But I can’t do it with my hands now. . 

I used to be able to, when I was a human. . .   .     In that life. . .       I was killed then. . .  .

And then I became a squirrel. .      I don’t know why. . .      .    I’m an animal now. .

 

I don’t have parents. .    They were caught and killed. .     I hid and was not noticed.

I sat in the house for a long time.     Then I decided that if I didn’t find food myself, I would die. . .  .

I got out but did not stay on the rock and fell down. . .     I didn’t hit very hard. . .      Then I sat and waited. . . I don’t know what for. . .   .    I couldn’t find any food, and I couldn’t get back in. .

 

 

 

That’s when I saw Him. . .

I tried to climb the rock again, but I kept falling off. . .     I was small. . .

He lifted me off the ground. . .     He picked me up and looked at me for a long time. . 

Then he said – Bobka. . .   .

So it means I’m Bobka. . 

And He is he.

And that’s it. . 

 

He lifted me up to the hole in the rock and said, “Get inside, Bobka. . .”.

You can’t sit on the ground for a long time – the snake can crawl out and grab you with its teeth. .

There wasn’t much room in the hole, but I was small. . .

 

Then he brought some dry grass and put it in my hole. . .      Then he came again and brought the worm’s head. . .    . That’s when I had my first full meal. .

 

Then he came every day and brought me something to eat. . 

He always brought me something to eat and gave it to me..

Usually, he brought the most delicious part of the worm, the head. .

And I run to him, climb on his clothes on his chest. . .  He takes me in his arms and always says: “Here’s Bobka, eat. . .   grow big. . “.

 

That’s how I got used to him. . .   .

When he was just coming up the trail, I could already hear him. . .   I knew his steps and ran to meet. . .  , climbed on his hands. . .   .

We were sitting on a rock. . .     He kept thinking about something. . .

Sometimes for a very long time and I fell asleep in his arms. .

 

 

I’ve grown up now. . .  – I find food myself. . .   .  But I miss him. .     I’m looking forward to  him. . .  , when he comes again and I see his smile, gray eyes with rays. . .  .

 

                                                                    ***

I always think of him leaning toward me, and I cling to his sleeve and jump on his shoulder. . .

He sits down on a rock, and I get down on his hands and look at his face.

I like to look at him. . .     For a long, long time. . .  .

 

I also like to climb on his shoulder and run my paws through his long blond hair. . .

He laughs softly and keeps repeating, “My Bobka, you are my Bobka. . .”.

 

                                                                    ***

I don’t remember my parents from my previous life. . .  .

I don’t remember anything. . .   .   I just know that I was killed and that I have to hide from These. .       So I look at Him and think that he’s like my Father. . .  .        And I’m his son. . .   .

And I hold his finger with both paws. . . ,  really tight. . .  .

And He smiles and repeats: “My Bobka, you are my Bobka. . .”

 

                                                                    ***

 

Then he started telling me. . .

 

I understood Him. . .    and kept looking into those big gray eyes. . .   .

 

That’s how I found out he lived alone. . .  .

That he has a beloved one. That she’s the best. .

 

 

 

That her leg was broken by These when she was still a little girl. . .   .

And another thing was done. .    Well, the eye was gouged out. . .        and more. . .  .

I don’t want to tell. .   You’ll think she’s not pretty. .

And she was the most beautiful. . .   .     That’s what He said. .      There was no one better.

That’s it. .   .

 

 

I sat quietly in his arms trying not to move. . .  .

 

                                                                    ***

 

And then all of a sudden changed. .

 

He was gone for a very long time. . .   . I thought I could hear his footsteps, . . .    I was running out to meet him, but there was no one around the corner. . .     and my heart sank somehow. .

 

 

When he came, he was different. . .

He sat down on the rock where we always sat and didn’t move for a long time.

I climbed on his shoulder, and he didn’t seem to feel it. . .

 

He just sat there with his head down and his eyes closed. . .

I ran my fingers through his hair. . .

Then, in a strange and muffled way, he squeezed out words from where there is nothing: “My Bobka, you are my Bobka. . .”.

 

So I found out that now he doesn’t have his beloved. . .      That She. . .  , that her. . .

That she was killed after that. . .   .

I realized that it was very scary. . .

Because He cried when he told about it. . .     .

He told. . .  as to a person. . .   .  Like I’m his son. . .   .          Unborn.

His and Her son. . .    .

 

 

He talked on and on. . .   About her. . .     What She is like. . .     How they loved each other and how they wanted a boy. .

They also wanted the girl. . . , but they were afraid that These would take her to the House. . The House of These. . .       The House of Death. .  

And. . .      The boy could have grown up with them. . .    While he grows up. .    And girls were taken away by These as soon as they started walking. .        So they were afraid that the girl would be taken away. . .   .       And when you’re afraid, girls aren’t born. .   Boys aren’t born either. . . ,    but they are wanted to be born. . .     To. . .     someday. . .

So the Tradition says. . .          A boy must be born. .

 

Maybe I’ll be that boy. . .    In another life. . .     .

That’s what he told me. .

Then he stopped talking again and closed his eyes. . .    Sometimes he shuddered and tears flowed down his cheeks. . . ,  one fell on me. . . and I started to cry too. . . ,    I squeezed his finger with my paws so that he wouldn’t cry. . .    or so that I. . .     .

He didn’t see me cry, I had a very small tear that came out. . .    One. .

 

 

                                                                    ***

 

 

He killed the three who did this to his beloved. . .

he hid her body in a crevice on the mountain and covered it with rocks. .

He hasn’t returned to his house since. . .    They’re looking for him now. . .   .

 

 

Now he was hiding in a crevice, near the spot where he had first seen and picked me up. . .   .

 

It’s not the best place to hide, but he wanted me around. . .  He always thought of me as a Son. .   He didn’t tell me that, but I could hear his thoughts. .

 

He went out looking for food early in the morning while These were still asleep, or in the evening. . .     In the evening, they are afraid to leave the House.

Worms also come out during the day, when it gets warmer. . .      That is why only little food could be found.

 

 

 

                                                                    ***

 

These and their entire circle were looking for him. . .       Well, who serves These. . .

 

They tracked down. . .   .

They saw and reported to curry favor. . .   .

Let them kill him, but they will not be touched. .    They thought so. .

 

 

 

 

                                                                    ***

 

They appeared from the left of the cliff. .

He had nowhere to run. .   He knew it. . 

He lifted me up to a hole in the rock, . . .  and said, “Get inside Bobka. . .”        I jumped into the hole. . 

And he. . .       He stayed. . .

I knew what would happen. .

He never told me, but I could hear the thoughts of These.

I crouched in the farthest corner of the burrow and covered my face with my paws. . .

I didn’t cry. . .      I was just shaking and wanted to die. .

 

 

 

I didn’t want to be small anymore. . .       I wanted to be Big. . .          To kill all These. .

I heard how he was tortured. .  .        There was a strong smell of blood. .

 

I never came out of my burrow again. .        I lay there until I died. . 

I was thinking of Him. . .        Of Her,     a little. . 

 

 

About that boy who should be born. . .          According to Tradition.

 

 

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