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 A Brother

 

 

We are brothers.     We were born together.      This is bad. .       I came out first.        He follows me.

I am kind of the oldest. .        I’m big and ugly.      He is small and beautiful. 

I’m bald.    He has long blond hair and gray eyes.              I don’t have one eye. . .         I can’t see very well at all. . .               But I can hear him thinking about me. .

 

He often thinks of me. . .    «Why am I a freak? . . .       Why one eye? .           Why. . . ?              Why am I not thinking straight?. . .       Why is there no hair, and skin like a snake-scales?. .»

 

He loves me and teaches me everything. .          I don’t really understand why this should be done, but I listen and do as he says. . .

 

He said that we were three and a half years old – that’s like a little over ten for you. So tomorrow we will have one finger on our left hand cut off. We must swallow it. Prove that we are loyal to the Law.     If you don’t swallow it, you will be destroyed.      It means you don’t want to serve the Law.     Means. . .               But it’s better not to think about it. . .      Everyone swallows. .

 

My brother said not to swallow.    Just pretend to swallow it.        And then pull out the severed finger and then. . .    .

He figured out how. He pulled out our hair and made loops at the ends. . .       So that when the finger cut off, it would stay in the loop.       And the other end with a loop will need to be put on the tooth when you swallow. . .             Then grab a hair and pull it out of your stomach. . .  Back. .

 

He also said that they would open my skull and remove most of my brain. .         And I’ll forget him. . .       And he also said that I would become his enemy.          These want to do that, make me his enemy. .          That I will live alone. . .       That I will. . .        You don’t have that word. . . It’s like an executioner. . .        Only all your executioner do is just execute. . .         well, torturing. .           And I will also fuck the girls who will be brought to me to execute. . .       They will be girls of our genus. . .             Them are always. . .

 

He kept talking and talking. . .          I do not believe. . .          I don’t believe I’ll be like he said. .

 

He hears about all this.       He hears someone’s thoughts. .       He doesn’t know whose. . .  They don’t say who they are – the ones who tell him.

I can’t hear those who tell him. . .           But I hear what my brother thinks for me afterwards, so that I know what was said to him. .

He says they are very good, but they can’t do anything.  They can only tell you what to do. . . And that’s it.

They must have been dead a long time, so they can’t. .

 

He can also hear animals. .           They also say. . .            Different things. . .

They say we are fools. . .        That we shouldn’t listen to the Law. . .       That we should. . .

 

The dead and others from the sky, say that we should do other things. . .         My brother retells me this. .

I listen to his thoughts at night, but I don’t understand why he says that I will forget everything. .

Because if I repeat and repeat it in my head, I will never forget. .

 

 

 

 

I stand at the edge of the ascent to the House of Death. .      Night. .      I am waiting. . .     If any . . .    try to escape, I must. . .      .

 

I can hear something in my head. . .          It’s like someone is telling me that I should let her go. . .     .

The only one who tries to get out and climb down the wall. . .

It is impossible – she will fall off and break on the rocks. .

 

If I missed her, then maybe. . .

I don’t know what that voice is. I know I used to know it. . .       And now I forget who it is. . .

 

 

I’m scary. .    Covered in scales. .      And in my head there are. . .     grows, I don’t know what to call them. . .

The girls I guard until they are executed are afraid to even look at me. They think I. . .

 

I wouldn’t do that. . .             I like them. . .          They’re so. . .          so. . .     Small at all. . .

 

I am long standing. . .    I think one of them will try to escape tonight.        I know her. . .        She is beautiful. . .        The most beautiful of all. . .         And her hair is so long and fair. . . Gray-eyed. . .      with rays.

She is one of all who is not afraid to look at me. . .      As If she wants to tell me something. . . That she. . .       That I. . .        That tonight, when the moon is gone and it’s completely dark . . .

 

 

 

Let them destroy me, I don’t see anyone and that’s it. . .         No one slides down the wall . . . No one passes me. . .    No one touched my hand . . .      No one’s breath stirred my thoughts. .

She slipped in so thin and light . . .      like the light from the moon . . .

And I’m standing and waiting for the morning to come and everything will be revealed . .

 

And my thoughts are different . . .       There were no such thoughts before. .       It’s like I have a brother. .      It’s like he’s telling me I did the right thing. .

And he is also telling me not to be afraid. .

That the most important thing is for this girl to be able to . . .

That he is my brother, that he loves and remembers me . . .           That he did it just like me. .

 

 

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